Getting beyond a "fear" of mine
Again, I'm not sure if there is a specific place in the forums where this post actually fits so I put it here since it does not pertain to a definite topic/stroke. As I mentioned in a previous post, I found a indoor pool for the Fall/Winter seasons, as much as it will be dominated by swim teams much of the time. (As an aside, I thought I would be taking a significant amount of time off from swimming due to healing from dental surgery, but it appears that I will be able to get in the pool at the beginning of November as long as the periodontist says I have healed well enough.) If I can squeeze some time in the midst of the swim team practices and meets, I will make an effort. But I have realized I have a fear which seems so silly, yet wonder if anyone has insight as how to get over it.
In the time I swam in college, before hanging up my goggles once, and now returning to swimming, I have always worn standard swim trunks because that has been what I've been comfortable with when at the pool/around others. I do not have any real gut even though I am not "washboard" fit. I guess I would consider myself skinny with some love handles - if that makes sense. I actually considered a workshop, but cannot make it work out this time around; and the description of the workshop recommended participants wear a suit which will not create drag. Even though I will not be attending the workshop, I thought about getting a suit which does not create drag anyways, since there are other folks at the pool who do not wear trunks.
For some reason, I have this "fear" of wearing a speedo style swimsuit, even the square-fit style. So I considered the jammer style, and still have the fear. I will explain a little... I went online and ordered one of each style just to see if the fear was something in my head, or if there is a true deeper fear. After trying on each suit (the retailer was kind enough to allow me to return them if need be, yet I still haven't) I was very uncomfortable how I looked in them, therefore definitely have a fear of even wearing them at the pool. As much as my head tells me to stick with the standard trunks, I need to overcome this fear at some point, especially if I participate in a workshop. Is there some way to overcome this, and if so, how do I do it?